Have your College Essay Stand Out
How much does your college essay really matter? Find out in the link below. Because it is such an important part of your application, how can you ensure your essay will shine?
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1. Know your audience: Who is reading your essays? You might picture a well dressed, older academic professor spending twenty minutes reading and analyzing your essay. In truth, it is more likely to be a young admissions person right out of college, underpaid and overworked, spending a couple of minutes skimming your essay before going on to the next one in the never ending pile. How can you make your essay memorable to someone like that?
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For a more in depth and entertaining take on the type of person reading your essay, read the link above by Harry Bauld, a former longtime Ivy League admissions officer.
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2. Don't write your college essay like you would for English class: This is often the hardest part for students to grasp. You've spent four years being taught how to write analytical and complex essays, but that doesn't apply here. Your essay should be in your own informal voice. Good application essays are personal essays. They unpack moments and emphasize narrative writing. You are telling a story about you. Your personality and voice are supposed to shine here. You don't need a thesis statement or any rigid paragraph breakdown. Certainly switch up word choice, and be descriptive, but you don't need to use words you wouldn't use normally. It needs to sound like you. Using big words like "perspicacity" lends an aura of fakeness to your essay. The SAT already tests for your knowledge of vocabulary. No need to try too hard with the thesaurus here.
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Above are links that give you more tips about this.
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3. Don't over look writing about day to day things, or think colleges don't want to hear about them. They do. "One of the biggest mistakes students make is trying too hard to impress," an admission counselor says. "Trust that it is those every day, specific subjects that are much more interesting to read about." Another counselor says "be genuine. Don't try to impress me, because I've heard it all. Just tell me what is important to you." In fact, colleges see right through essays about flashy experiences that have very little depth.
Unless something especially profound happened during a week long mission trip or special trip -- and you are writing almost entirely about a snapshot of that event -- try to find a different topic to write about. |
"To Get to Harvard, Go to Haiti?" New York Times
Excerpt from the article linked above: "the running joke in admissions is the mission trip to Costa Rica to save the rainforest."
To read about the most overdone and cliche types of essays, read the entertaining link above by Harry Bauld, a former longtime Ivy League admissions officer.
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4. Instead of asking "What do the colleges want to hear?" the question you ask yourself should be "What do I have to say to these readers?"
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5. "Show" a story. Don't merely tell it. Engaging writers have dialogue in their essays, and show who they are in the actions of the story rather than merely telling the reader.
Tell = He was in a bad mood Show = He stomped his foot, waved his fist, and turned beat red in the face. Consider the Apply Texas prompt below: What was the environment in which you were raised? Describe your family, home, neighborhood, or community, and explain how it shaped you as a person. To the right are example excerpts to this prompt, from a "telling" essay vs. a "showing" essay. In the telling essay, it is neither interesting nor very memorable. Substitute swimming for any other sport, and an admissions counselor probably reads essays like this hundreds of times. It is cliche (i.e. "truly made me into the person I am today"). The showing essay says the same message as the telling essay, but it is much more engaging to read. The hose story gives a funny example of the pranking, the cake gives a subtle nod to the great food his mom contributes, and the dialogue shows the loving and supportive relationship Jake has with both Chris and the mom. Swimming is subtly shown to be a big part of Jake's life, from the dialogue with Mom and the chlorine feeling. |
Telling excerpt: "Swimming is a big deal in my family. I swim everyday, and it can be hard to balance that with all the homework and other extracurricular activities. One thing that gets me through the craziness of my schedule is my brother. Chris and I are close. Even though we messed with each other a lot growing up, we have always supported each other. I don't know what I would do without him. What I like most about my brother is although he messes with me a lot, he is very giving and is always willing to share. I can honestly say the same about my parents. From the amazing meals, to the positive motivation to do well in school and swimming, the love and support from my family have truly made me into the person I am today. Going to a school like Jesuit has been hard with all the work and balance with swimming. But my supportive environment allowed me to succeed and be the person I am today. "
Showing excerpt: "The chlorine from swim practice feels permanently etched in my hands. I futilely rub my sandpaper fingers together to generate some moisture. As I park my civic at the clean but simple front of home, I grimace thinking of the hours of homework between me and sleep. Thoughts of this and dinner are quickly jolted, and my hands simultaneously moisturized, as I turn the corner to a familiar sight: my older brother sitting in a patio chair by the door, green hose in hand turned on and bent several times to hold back the spurt of water. My scream of "Chrisssss" fails to abate the water nor protect my book bag or phone. Standing at the door, drenched, tired, and overwhelmed with everything, I take a deep breath before tackling Chris and wrestling control of the hose, blasting him as well. My frustration turns to laughter, and after a long day, it feels good to be home. Chris and I enter inside, and mom, oblivious as always to noticeable things like her sons walking in soaking wet, is frosting a cake. "Who wants to lick the bowl" she asks. "James can have it", Chris replies. The day just got 100% better. "How was the physics test?" she asked. "It went well Mom. I think I got an A". "That's what I like to hear! Keep working hard. Aunt Kristin and I can't wait to see you swim on Friday." "Thanks mom," I say as I pass a quarter- spoonful of chocolate frosting to Chris. "This week has been crazy, but I'm feeling good about dropping time."
Tips from Harry Bauld on showing a story.
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6. The best essays emphasize who you are now. Try to avoid stories about getting lost at the zoo in 6th grade. How does that help the reader understand the qualities you will contribute to a college community? Referring to stories when you are younger can be good, but they must make clear how that story relates to who you are now.
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7. It is fine to write about sports but...make sure it shows your human side. Merely writing a story about your awesome one hitter in baseball and a story about how it transpired inning by inning doesn't show much about you. They have your resume. They'll know baseball is important to you. Instead, how can you write your essay that shows your passion, sympathy, eagerness to be challenged and learn? Your ability to enjoy the mundane details of life, such as going to practice everyday? Wherever there is a good story, there is a good essay.
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8. Writing about a "winning" moment, like getting an award, or scoring the winning goal can be great, as long as most of the essay is about the background story. As said before, they have your resume. They want to hear the part about how you grew, what you learned, how you formed relations along the way that contributed to the joy of the outcome.
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8. Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. Take breaks and come back to it from time to time. The link to the right has some great tips. Rewrite doesn't mean throw your whole essay out and start over -- it means to continue to tinker and fix up the incoherent but beautiful mess of your first draft.
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9. Word choice, tone, and brevity are important. See the link to the right for some great concrete tips (seriously, it will help you a ton). Little things like transition words, and "trimming the fat" (getting rid of unneeded words) can really turn your essay from good to great.
Example of importance of tone: A. I can't stand Calculus B. Calculus is a stupid science. C. Calculus is a mystery to me. All give the same message (that Calculus doesn't come naturally to you), but C is a much more positive tone to take in your essay. word choice --> please read the link to the right. Students often overlook this. Example of trimming the fat: Fat: Uncle Nathan is someone who cares only about fly fishing. Trim: Uncle Nathan cares only about fly fishing. Always try to cut out unneeded words. |
Of all the articles to read, the one above will help the most in cleaning up your essay.
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